Don’t we all want to hear about our child’s day–that they were included on the playground, had someone to sit with at lunch, understood what was going on in class, and most importantly had a “good” day? s a speech language pathologist, I have had to start and keep conversations going with children for over 15 years. So I want to offer some tips for getting your preschool and elementary-aged child to open up about school when they come home:
1. Ask open-ended questions. Avoid questions that can be answered in one word–especially “yes” or “no.” Rather try some open-ended questions like, “Tell me about the game you played at recess today” or “That’s a beautiful picture of the farm. Tell me about it.” or “I wonder what you had for lunch today.”
2. Use their artwork or take-home papers to start conversations. Take advantage of these masterpieces, asking open ended questions of your little artist and don’t forget to listen. Showing interest in their work can increase their self-esteem as well as link school and home.
3. Know their school schedule so you can start talking about when they go to the media center, music, P.E. or art class. “What did you do in art today?” or “What did you learn in music?” “Tell me the books you chose at the media center.” Take the time to sit down and talk with them, affirming their book choice, and encouraging reading.
4. Know what they are working on in school. Have fun exploring the topics on the internet together, learning new facts to expand on their knowledge and discussing the themes.
5. Model sharing about your day. “I had a great day today. I talked “Aunt Carol and Uncle Bob about…” or “I met a new friend and we had coffee.” It is important to share your interests, friends, challenges and joys with your kids so they see that communication modeled for them.
6. Take time at the dinner table to talk about a good and bad thing that happened that day. Make it a game of thinking of a good and bad, happy and sad, or fun and challenging event that day. By encouraging your child to talk about a hard thing that happened that day, you can provide emotion words to help them express themselves such as, “You must have been disappointed when Ashley didn’t let you join the game.” or “I bet you were frustrated when they were out of your favorite ice cream at lunch.”
7. Use books as conversation starters. Choose a book about school and see what conversation unfolds. A good humorous book to read is “What a Day it was at School!” by Jack Prelutsky. His collection of poems about school–tipping over with a heavy backpack, throwing food in the cafeteria, hopelessly competing with a classmate in gym, or emitting an accidental noise during class–is outrageously silly, getting a child laughing and connecting the stories to her school experience.
8. Listen, listen, and listen. Once your child gets started talking about their day, hold off more questions and let them go. As parents, we tend to jump in with more questions, but pausing is important. A child gains confidence as they relate their day and you affirm them.